-Joe Nuts
Landon Brandon, a presidential candidate, has repeatedly stated they have never received any scandals. But it’s only due to the fact he lacks the ability to know the full picture of what a scandal is. It’s not that they haven’t received any scandals but in fact, they are the scandal. He resonates scandal so much that you don’t know where to start.
From many hours of research and investigation, The Language Post has been able to pinpoint Brandon’s main scandal: His speeches have created illness and manipulation. His boring speeches have allowed him to take over our minds and cause some of us to become sick or even die a horrible death in extreme agony.
“Patients within 10-15 minutes of listening a Landon Brandon speech experience mild to severe heart failure,” said Dr. Sheizenchudenwoff from the NIH, “sometimes patients may even get bored at the worst case.”
The effects of people listening to his speeches have not been obvious however there are subtle signs such as Zach Power. This is a very bold strategy as it effectively kills off the competition without anyone noticing Brandon is the one causing it. He has eliminated Power without anyone noticing so why stop there? The polls are also evident as he has brainwashed the voters from other classes, perhaps even making them braindead, to get their vote so he can win. Let's look at the evidence: His speeches are like someone giving a presentation on 1984 or why breaking the law is illegal. It is boring. Another thing, which has been pointed out by mentally insane presidential candidate, Jonah Nazareth, Brandon looks tired in every speech. This shows that not only the audience is bored by his speeches but the speaker himself. He states he’s tired from working hard but probably is too busy stalking Zach Power or he probably has an illness himself. His own team has been affected as well, they’re bored out of their minds they forgot how to spell “environment.”
When I see a liberal or a presidential candidate in general, I expect someone to be very bold and loud. They are confident in what he is saying and not just reading words on a board. I expect an individual to wear a tall hat with the American flag colors, like Lincoln’s hat but with red, white, and blue, and wearing a flashy suit or wearing nothing at all also works.
Landon Brandon is clearly the face of a manipulator and mustn't gain control over the U.S. citizens.
Landon the Brandon and his acquaintances may believe they have gotten away with this, but Joe Nuts, the columnist of the Language Post, knows a much about these candidates and should pay attention to their behavior: 108.19.156.3.
I’m coming for you next, Harry Hosselhoff.
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