-Isabel Jones, Edited by Fjaec Knuz----------------------------
Photo of the America-Jesus-Freedom steroid
Yesterday we found out that 65% of all American Olympic athletes have been caught doping, some say they were encouraged by the government to promote American excellency. The candidates were reporting on their views on Jan 9th and before candidate Jonah Nazareth spoke on the pressing issue, it was discovered that he was the one producing the drugs.
“I was offered $80 million to take the America-Jesus-Freedom steroid to get my game on,” said 9-time biathlon gold medalist John Obama Mcainingson, “The Campaign men in suits said everything I do will be for the country.”
To back up the recent news about Nazareth, social media has dug up Nazareth saying 15 years ago in a recorded message in Anchorage, Alaska, “I’m a drug dealer.” Not to mention Nazareth was threatening The Language Post to release news on the drug crisis before all due diligence was completed. It sounded as if they were trying to cover up their production of drugs.
Nazareth’s policy and opposition researcher Abyaz Amir spoke on behalf of Nazareth and asserted, “Jesus wants you to forget about all this.” On top of that, Nazareth was absent during the day of the debates, further proving not only involvement in the scandal, but a lack of accountability. Is he in England?
Landon Brandon said he wasn’t surprised Nazareth was involved and he also wants mandatory drug tests. Other candidates such as Caroline Dunk reported that all athletes should receive a fair investigation and proper punishment if found guilty. She does not promote cheating, and other candidates agree. Harry Hosselhoff agreed with Zach Power to support the clean athletes and punish those involved.
However, the Language Post has recently received exclusive information directly from the Nazareth Campaign. The Campaign leaked a direct message from candidate Hosselhoff, hinting at his possible involvement in the scandal.
Unlike Nazareth's obvious participation in the scandal, given numerous sightings of Nazareth himself orchestrating deals with athletes, Hosslehoff kept things farther under the table. In order to verify the Post's suspicions and the Nazareth Campaign's leak, we launched an investigation on Hosselhoff's movement of funds. The Post then tracked many millions of dollars missing from Hosselhoff’s secret cryptowallets on all corresponding days given in the athletes' testimonies, highly likely bribes for famous athletes to take the America-Jesus-Freedom steroid. Did the Hosselhoff Campaign truly believe that they could get away with publicly condemning the very athletes they bribed?
Today is a sad day for America. We as a nation have failed through the lacking integrity of our athletes and the corruption of our politicians.
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